Jon Hersh is a busy literary manager with Housefire Management. Working with writers in both film and TV, his clients have gone on to develop projects with Universal, Lionsgate, Amazon, Paramount Players, Nickelodeon and Spyglass Media Group to name a few. 

We interviewed Jon Hersh as part of Coverfly’s Highlight Series to discuss what he’s looking for in a potential client, common script problems he sees over and over, and why it’s not a good idea to write for what’s trending in the marketplace.

Check out the full video below and continue on for five of the biggest takeaways. 

What Managers Are Looking for in a Potential Client 

Hersh says that first and foremost, he’s looking for great writing on the page. While most writers know that the first 10 pages of their screenplay are crucial for gripping the reader, Hersh says that for him, it needs to happen much sooner.  

“What I look for – is this piece of material grabbing me right off the bat within the first three pages. If it is, then I want to meet with the person and see if we connect on a personal level,” says Hersh. 

 

Another thing Hersh looks for is whether the writer will be, “Good in the room.” While he admits that sounds cliché, it’s really important that the writer can engage others and come off as someone other people want to work with – especially since film development is such a collaborative process.  

Read More: The Best Times of the Year to Contact Literary Managers for Screenwriters

Loglines Must Be Bold 

Because managers like Jon Hersh are inundated with scripts, he says it’s super important for the logline to really make a splash – it can make the difference between a script getting read or getting passed over.

“The first thing I usually notice is the logline and is that [logline] something that’s going to be able to cut through the noise,” he says.

 

One studio executive he knows shared that a good logline should be easy to see on a movie poster and be a concept the studio can easily get behind.

Be Wary of Writing for the Marketplace   

Most people would agree that the film marketplace is fickle and that trends change constantly. In general, it’s good to pay attention to trends but not to live and die by them.

“I do think sometimes people say, ‘Oh, the trend is x or y,’ and they try to write towards the trend. A lot of production company execs or studio execs are saying, ‘We want this,’ but a few months later, that changes. And then, this new spec that you have is already out of date,” says Hersh.

 

Hersh prefers to focus on helping his clients figure out what story they are most passionate about and develop that script. 

Read More: Do I Really Need an Agent, Manager, and Lawyer?

Are Query Letters Still a Thing?

Yes! Though Jon Hersh says he doesn’t rely on query letters as much as he did at the beginning of his career (simply because he has so many clients now), he says, “I’ve definitely gotten good clients through query letters. It [still] happens but it’s just a little bit more rare.”

Hersh says that recently he got a bunch of query letters that said, “Dear Representative.” “I wouldn’t recommend doing that!” he says.  

“Definitely spell the person’s name correctly!”

 

Bottom line, in addition to a bold logline, he recommends you add a short bio to the query letter that makes you stand out. 

Read More: I Just Signed with a Rep: What Do They Expect of Me?

Common Script Problems 

Hersh says he sees all kinds of script problems when he reads specs. Because there are a million reasons for a studio exec to pass on your script, it’s important to solve as many of these problems as possible. 

The most common problem — the reader doesn’t connect with the main character. “That’s a big one,” he says.

“You don’t necessarily have to love [the protagonist], but you should connect with them enough to want to see where they go from beginning to end,” he says.

 

Sloppy script structure is the next big issue. “The structure can be wonky sometimes,” he says. Make sure your act breaks are clear and your mid-point is powerful. Also, make sure your page count is appropriate for the genre.

Dialogue that’s too on the nose can be a problem, too, he says. On the nose, or OTN, just means the character is stating the obvious without any nuance, subtext or clever wording.  

But the biggest script problem, says Hersh, is when the concept of the script isn’t clear.

“I think the hardest thing to fix is the concept – especially if it’s kind of a fuzzy concept, and it doesn’t really have a defined hook. If you write the script, that’s the hardest thing to change, because it’s embedded in the entire story.”

 

To avoid this, make sure your protagonist has a clearly defined goal and a powerful antagonist working against them. If your protagonist’s goal is personal to you, the writer, it will give the concept more emotional juice. 

Read More: Manager Etiquette: 4 Do’s and Don’ts of Working with Reps